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March 2020
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I’M NOT PERFECT … BUT HE IS!
I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to be perfect. Have you noticed? How am I doing? I’ve got some work to do, don’t I? That’s how I used to live. I would approach life with the attitude – “What can I do today to become more perfect?” Honestly, I thought it was the right way to live. Striving for perfection and working harder and harder every day to get there was my purpose in life. Whether it be as a husband; as a father, as an employee; as a boss; as a friend; and yes, even as a baseball player! And I can tell you one thing about that lifestyle – it will keep you busy! And busy is good … right? Then one day several years ago, when I was in my office at work having a “personal coaching” session on the telephone with a leadership coach based in Arizona that I had never met, my goal of achieving perfection was shaken to its foundation. The coach had simply asked me to take a few minutes and walk him through what my day was like at work as I interacted with staff and prepared assignments for my boss. When I was finished, my new coach said this: “Well, I think we’re done for today. Now I want you to go to your fax machine and pick up a one page document I am sending you, and we can talk about it next time.” That was quick, I thought. But that’s ok, too – more time to strive for perfection! But when I got to the fax machine, waiting for me was a document that changed the way I felt about myself and my lifestyle. The document was called: “Perfection vs. Excellence,” and this is what is said:
- Perfection is being right – but Excellence is willing to be wrong.
- Perfection is fear – but Excellence is willing to take risks.
- Perfection is control – but Excellence is spontaneity.
- Perfection is judgment – but Excellence is acceptance.
- Perfection is doubt – but Excellence is confidence.
- Perfection is pressure – But Excellence is natural.
- Perfection is focusing on the destination – but Excellence is enjoying the journey.
That’s all it said. But that was enough … at least to get me started. My illusion that I could be, and should be, pefect was challenged. When I saw all those attributes of perfectionism on that paper, it was a pretty close description of my own lifestyle: needing to be right; afraid of not being good enough; needing to control everyone and everything; enjoying my role as judge of other people; living in a cloud of doubt about myself; constantly under pressure to please people and do better; and always focused on the outcome – totally missing the joys of every day life. The diagnosis by my personal coach was clear: I was a perfectionist. And I knew that it was destroying me, and eventually would kill me. That was the beginning of my journey to Jesus. It took many years and many hard lessons learned to understand that I am not perfect, and never will be – but that Jesus is perfect and always will be! Indeed, He is perfect so that I don’t have to be. Instead: I can be wrong; I can take risks that fail; I can be spontaneous and screw up; I can accept myself – and others, just as we are; I can be confident and natural without changing a thing; and most important, I can find joy and wonder in each and every day. All of this is true because I am NOT perfect! Jesus has given me the freedom to be myself in the world … just as I am! And I am fine with that. In case you haven’t noticed, I still make a lot of mistakes, and I still get many things wrong, and I still lose my way and get scared or angry. Basically, I’m just a stumbling bumbling idiot who is saved by the grace of my Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. And thanks to him being perfect, and making the perfect sacrifice just for me. I can be just who I am … just as God created to be … and that’s just fine with me today! Recovering perfectionist, I am, Pastor <>< Bob
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HOW IT HAPPENS…
Last Sunday we heard the story of the Gerasene Demoniac. Do you remember? His name was “Legion” because of all the demons his heart was filled with. We know his name because the very first thing Jesus said to him was a question: “What’s your name?” Throughout the gospels, Jesus teaches us the importance of his questions. Here in this story, the question he asks the demoniac leads to a relationship … which leads to a healing … which leads to freedom and finally, discipleship. All that from one question! Jesus knows what we often forget: real love requires a relationship. And too many times in our lives, we skip right to the judgment and conclusion about someone or some group of people before we ever get to know them. As Bruce Condill said in Sunday’s worship, loving like Jesus is very hard. Yes, and probably impossible if we try to do it alone. The question for us then becomes, how do we as mere mortals who call ourselves Christian, love like Jesus. Let’s review the 3-step process we must take as “believers” in order to even begin to love like Jesus loved. STEP 1: UNDERSTANDING – Ask yourself:
- Do you believe in the one true God, the Almighty Creator who at the beginning created all there is in heaven and earth? If Yes …
- Do you believe that the one God created you … and that in doing so created you in the image of God? If yes …
- Do you believe that means you have the potential of the divine, not to be God but to be Christ-like in aspects of your daily life? If yes …
- Do you believe, therefore, your God-given purpose in this life is to do all you can to fulfill your Christ-like potential? If yes …
- Do you believe that this is true not only for you, but for every other person living today: that the one God created them in the image of God and that everyone not only deserves the opportunity to achieve their God-given purpose but also deserve to be loved just as God loves them – just as Jesus asked us to love them?
STEP 2: BEHAVIOR – Ask yourself …
- Isn’t your calling from God a spiritual (not religious) call to nurture your Christ-like potential? And …
- Isn’t the first step necessary to do this to align our lives to the best of our ability with the life that Christ taught and lived himself? And …
- Isn’t “divine love” the only power and means to do this? And …
- Isn’t that really a calling to turn away from our self-centered human instincts and stop playing God ourselves – with all of our judgments and conclusions about people we don’t even know – and start loving them just like Jesus did (including the Gerasene Demoniacs in our lives)? And …
- Isn’t it true that if we start to change our behavior in small incremental ways then, over time, there will begin to be subtle but powerful changes in our hearts as we begin to learn to love like Jesus loves.
STEP 3: CONVERSION – Ask yourself …
- Doesn’t conversion begin as those small changes we make cause us to reflect on our whole life … all of our behaviors … and our true calling from God to love everyone like Jesus did = unconditionally, all-forgiving, never-ending? Then …
- Doesn’t conversion continue as our own consciousness starts to be transformed from the priority of our human/earthly existence to the priority of our heavenly/spiritual existence? And then …
- Doesn’t the tipping point come in our hearts when we realize that the potential that God has given us to be a force of divine love in this world in undeniable, and we can’t turn back?
Then … and only then … does our name become “Friend of Jesus” – because before we didn’t understand the ways of our Lord – but now we do. In one monumental day on the shore directly opposite Galilee, Jesus met a man and asked him his name. The man replied, “Legion” because of all the demons he was filled with. By the end of the day, Legion’s new name became “Friend of Jesus,” and he understood divine love … and he changed his behavior toward other people … and he was converted into a disciple of Jesus Christ. He became a Friend of Jesus. One last question: How about you? A work in progress, I am … Pastor Bob (F.O.J.)
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Jean Vanier: “Lessons about Living in Community”
Jean Vanier passed away on May 7th. He was a spiritual mentor and guide for many people, including myself. He was a Canadian theologian and prolific writer, but most importantly he was known as “the savior of the people on the margins.” Jean Vanier founded L’Arche – an international federation of communities in over 37 countries, for people with developmental disabilities and those who assist them. His spiritual impact on the special people he served and the ones he trained to serve them was enormous … and life-changing. Just ask Henri Nouwen, another of my favorite spiritual guides, who finally found his peace with God late in life by serving as chaplain at the L’Arche community outside of Toronto. But the reason I write about Jean Vanier today is because, of all the spiritual topics he was so well-schooled in, building and maintaining spirit-fed and spirit-led communities was at the top of his list. His L’Arche communities still stand as models of how we can live together better – whether in our families, our workplaces, or even our churches. So, Vine Street, as a “community” of Jesus followers going through some spirit-fed and spirit-led changes, I thought I would share some of Jean Vanier’s wisdom about spirit-led community building with you here. What follows is a series of excerpts taken directly from Vanier’s book, “Community and Growth.” I encourage us all to read these with prayerful and spirit-led hearts, and let us find inspiration and hope in his words!
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